A few weeks ago I had an MRI to help my doctors try to figure out why I had suddenly experienced strange nerve damage in my ear that resulted in 50% hearing loss. The MRI picked up a tumor. Let me tell you, to be told that you have a brain tumor is not what anyone wants to hear. Although it was a relief that the doctors found the cause of my migraines and hearing loss, it was unnerving.
“We don’t fear the unknown. We fear what we think of the unknown”- Teal Swan.
For weeks I have chosen not to focus on the fact that I have a brain tumor, but instead on the fact that had I not had a crazy ear infection and sudden hearing loss, the doctors would not have been looking inside my head in the first place.
Today I was transported onto an emotional ride that I did not see coming. Following a phone call from the neuro surgeon to set up my pre-op appointment, I couldn’t help but feel anxiety come over me. This is important, because many people that I talk ask me how to push past anxiety and fear and into a successful mindset. I’d like to assure you, you already have a successful mindset, you just need to operate from there.
It’s like having a high performance sports car, yet never getting in and driving it. You are afraid that you will wreck it, someone will steal it, or some other self-defeating thought- that’s okay and normal, but acknowledge that those aren’t thoughts that will get you to where you want to be- behind the wheel, driving your high performance machine, feeling the wind in your hair and the power beneath and all around you.
I don’t know why the call from the neuro surgeon threw me off so bad, but it did. In the past year I have transitioned from a 10 year victim of domestic violence (while married to a deputy sheriff) to a survivor. I also was the victor when the criminal justice system wrongly placed me, the victim of domestic violence, in the defending seat. Never did I waver in my belief that justice, the truth that I stood so proudly behind, would prevail.
It’s been a tough year, but I’ve maintained a successful mindset. So how was I so upset by a phone call from the neuro surgeon? As I sat in line at Starbucks, I began to cry, overcome by the emotions I was feeling. I quickly grabbed a napkin dabbing away the tears, as the car in front of me would be finished ordering soon. I gained my composure, pulled forward, and ordered my drink.
When I got to the window, the cashier informed me that the car in front of me paid for my drink. Had the driver seen me crying? Or had a force in the universe touched the heart of this person to “pay it forward?” Who would have known that the person that they just bought a drink for, out of a random act of kindness, just found out they needed surgery to remove a brain tumor?
As I thanked the barista and pulled away, tears streamed down my face. I whispered a silent, “thank you.” I needed to be reminded of goodness and joy in that moment. That simple act helped me shift back to a place where I could operate successfully.
It’s not that we won’t have disappointments and setbacks it’s how we CHOOSE to be that will determine our success. I challenge you to consider this as you face challenges to your successful mindset. It’s okay to get upset. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t dwell in a place that you don’t wish to be. If you want to dwell in success, get in the driver’s seat. Opportunity awaits. DRIVE!